Starting Up, again.

 Greetings! Salud! 

While I am excited that we are starting up again on our journey to add to our little family, there is a lot of hesitation this time. Last adoption we kept it very low key and didn't speak out about it much. The process is long, an emotional journey, and extensive. However, I learned that word of mouth was best through the last adoption with 'E.' (We are choosing to keep our child's name off of the blog. So, she will be referred to as E or Zoe.) In the next blog post I will dive deeper into E's story. This one will be about my husband, Ryan, and me! I will move us along to the story, as I am not a huge fan of the terribly lengthy posts about every needless detail: 

In 2008 Ryan had proposed to me, while we both lived in Colorado. Three weeks later I went to the doctor for a colonoscopy because of some symptoms I was having. That is when I got the news that I had colon cancer. I asked Ryan if he wanted to back out of the proposal, as the future had become a lot less certain. He said that he was in the relationship for the long haul, and I knew I had a keeper. After infertility diagnosis we discussed various options. It seemed like we were both open and excited for the possibilities adoption could bring our way. Well, in 2011 we moved to Nebraska, cancer free, and tried Foster care for 2 years. Then we fully moved over to the adoption route by choosing an agency, closing the chapter on Foster care, and setting our sights on infant possibilities. It took 2 more years just to be invited to the informational session, from there it took 5 more months to get a caseworker and finish some other paperwork. 

And that is where I end with this part of the story..... You get a cliff hanger! 

Some questions we answered early on that I have noticed people are curious about.... 

-) Open or closed adoption?

      We are comfortable with either option. I honestly believe that open adoption is better. It is messier and can have its own challenges, but closed adoption leaves the child with a lot of unanswered questions. 

-) So, you must know Zoe's biological parents? 

    Yes, we do know them. I text and send pictures. We meet up when in Colorado. I read a book to her about her birth story. We don't have secrets from her. While she may not understand the full picture yet, all the words will be familiar to her, and that is key to her feeling safe and trusting us as adoptive parents. 

-) Aren't you afraid of certain things in adoption? 

     Yes, I do have some fears and insecurities. It's quite difficult to process some of it, at times. Overall though, it's a beautiful and amazing process. I wouldn't trade it for the world and would do it all again in a heartbeat. We choose to not live by fear but by Faith that everything works out for the good. Ryan has less fears than I do, but he definitely sees the "fragile state" that some situations are in the adoption journey. 

Feel free to leave your questions or comments in the blog, please be kind. Adoption is a vulnerable journey for all the parties involved. Our hope with this blog is to discuss the intricate process, bring awareness to some issues, discuss the emotional side, and maybe inspire some hope for others. Finally, please let others know that we are open for adoption. Most people do not know- you can choose your own people to adopt your child. That's how E came to us! (Another cliffhanger!)