Home Study

September 27, 2022

Home Study

Here we are, waiting to begin the home study process. Why don't I share some stories with everyone in the meantime?!

It was an early morning in Longmont, Colorado. I had been staying with my parents there for the past 3+ weeks with a newborn. We were waiting for our Nebraska adoption agency to finalize our home study. You cannot cross state borders without it approved and an ICPC (Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children) completed. I was standing in front of thank you cards at Target. Life at the moment was going well. Oma and Opa were taking care of the kiddo, and I had some time to sip coffee and chill out. (Not too shabby! Most moms understand this feeling!) That's when the Colorado adoption agency called. Our case manager on CO side called to chat a bit with me. She was asking a lot of questions about our Nebraska agency and how things were going. Things were taking a lot longer than what she had normally things move when children are placed in "Legal Risk" situations. Well, we finally got to the crux of why the phone call was placed to me. It happens that the birth mom was informed that she could just pick an already approved family, instead of waiting for us. After my momentary freak out, my CO case manager assured me that she advocated for Ryan and I and spoke to the birth mom about systems and processes.

However, there was a warning lined within in her words. She noted that it was weird that a case manager and supervisor wouldn't be working more quickly on this. On the Nebraska side it was "I forgot to add her middle names..." or "Where was her place of birth again?" Then every change to the home study took about a week for the supervisor to approve and re-read the documents again.

You might be able to understand why I could be hesitant with adoption agencies. It's up to them with things such as timing and the process. They have a lot of control, as does the birth family up until the rights are relinquished. A birth mom may not understand that she has the right to choose the people to parent, but only gets to choose from the already approved families.

Anyway! This is why we are trying to get through the home study as fast as possible, so we know that, just in case, a birth mom finds out about our story- she won't have to wait on the agency to complete the documents.

The good news about our story is that everything was well worth the wait. Even though there were long waiting periods and struggle, we would go through it all again for our little one! The new agency we are working with reassured us that they can expedite the process if we were chosen privately by someone.

Alright! Someone asked recently, "What should I share with a potential birth family?" They felt like sending the blog or linking them to the Facebook site would be a little overwhelming. We felt like that was great feedback. So, we will be creating a page for the birth families on the blog! More to come on that!